TheFATladyBlog

10 Steps to Weed My Facebook Friendship Garden

In the brick-and-mortar world where I can see my friends eye to eye, or connect by phone, I am blessed with wonderful friends.

My own brand of friendship for those close at hand finds me at a friend's door with a pot of chicken soup in times of infirmity. 

My friends share my joys and my private sorrows, my triumph and my pain. 

There is nothing sweeter than the sound of a friend's laughter ... and nothing more soothing than the sound of a friend's voice in a time of grief.

The word "friend" is bandied about in social media and virtual "friends" are now commodities, their numbers are counted as assets, and connection is tied to focused engagement plans. I am reconsidering my social media engagement plan as part of my quarterly review and I am making several adjustments to honor old world notions of friendship.

New Facebook Engagement Strategy

My Facebook friend strategy remains a subset of my personal friends/professional aquaintances life syllabus. I am adapting a revised strategy to make my Facebook Wall more inviting, with richer heart-based content for everyone in my life who connects with me there. 

1. I do not accept Facebook "gifts" of any kind on my Wall if they require someone to click a link and ask for access to personal information and friend lists. When I see those "gifts" I am grateful for the kind thoughts attached, but I delete them immediately, and I block the applications. If you try to send me a "gift" and are puzzled when you do not see it on my Wall, please do not be offended.
2. Videos, music, and photos do not fall into the category of unacceptable Facebook "gifts."
3. Chicken soup is always welcome. (Can you imagine a nice way to meet a Facebook friend in real life?)
4. I unfriend people whose toxic behavior offends me.
5. There are some people in my Facebook friend community who are there because it makes sense from a strategic perspective, even though I do not particularly like or respect them. I will start to weed them out.
6. There are many people in my Facebook friend community who have totally different political views than I have ... I look forward to continued engagement with them, sharing our differences. I love energetic, respectful, and thoughtful discussion among people. 
7. There are many people in my Facebook friend community I have never met in person. I want to get to know them better and I look forward to continued engagement in the virtual world.
8. Increasingly, family members and old friends are connecting on Facebook. I cherish these connections and I look forward to more engagement with special friends and family.
9. Sometimes we need space from people following seriously fractured relationships. I'm convinced a social media connection does not replace a friendship gone sour. I have some unconnecting to do in this department also.
10. I will execute silent disconnects in cases where I have not met people personally. I will write a personal exit note in other instances.

I never had any other desire so strong, and so like to covetousness, as that one which I have had always, that I might be master at last of a small house and a large Garden.  ~Abraham Cowley, The Garden, 1666

Does Good Content Trump Poopy Branding?

Q. Dear Fran, I am confused. Several months ago you wrote a funny blog post, Poopy Branding Portends Book Branding Calamity. Shortly after that, you wrote a raving review in First There Was 'Purple Cow,' Then 'Holy Kaw.' Now, Enter 'Cosmic Cow Pie'. Which is it? Do you love it or do you hate it? It's now an Amazon best seller!- Real Estate Agent in Arizona

A. Sorry for the confusion. I' have very mixed feelings about this book. My reservations are tied principally to the title.

cow pie

noun

fecal matter of a cow 

WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University. 

The fact is both articles are substantially correct. The book contains some great personal development content, but the title is less and less appealing as time advances. I might revise a paragraph in the second piece:

"I recently poked bloggy fun about the wisdom of branding a book and publishing initiative with a title so graphically suggestive of cow pie.  I’m reversing my position on the matter of branding ... I read it last summer ... I have not read the final copy, and this review assumes that editorial guidance and corrections relative to grammar and syntax have been accomplished. Even if those corrections are not in place, compelling content rules the day."

I was premature in "reversing my position on the matter of branding." Over time, this branding does not wear well. Grammar and syntax issues remain, and new cover art wearily resembles intestinal disorder end product. The image may be consistent with theme words cosmic and cow pie, but it is visually disconcerting. Compelling content does not trump poor branding decisions vis-a-vis title and imagery.

Amazon Best Seller? Riley is branding her book with new "Amazon Best Seller" stickers. An Amazon sales thermometer saw her book reach a #2 position in a "Humor" sub, sub, sub, "Book" category during a single hour this month. NOTE: Amazon sales rank for all books is updated hourly, all at once. At that time, a book jumps to a higher sales rank (a lower number) for the sale of any new or used copy. 

Publishers game the Amazon system:

• List a book in obscure sub categories.
• Make multiple purchases in a single hour when traffic is slow.
• Tout the book as a BEST SELLER! 
• Many times a purchase of 5 copies or less will accomplish reaching goal of "Amazon Best Seller."

Consider this in context of Amazon statistics. Amazon.com Sales Rank for this book is 289,761. Several sources cite an average of 16 book sales per week for a ranking of 100,000 and 12 copies per week for a ranking of 300,000. That algorithm points to a weekly sales volume at Amazon of some 13 books, hardly a "best seller" by any standards.  

The FAT Lady Makes A Comeback

 I am going to return to this blog with a new recipe for focus. I have many blogs ... but I am going to take some of that energy and apply it to health and renewed vigor. I'm working on several educational initiatives involving real estate, social media, and publishing. I am going to share thoughts and insights here in a more focused manner than a shotgun approach to social media personal engagement.

There are tidbits of fun and wisdom in discussion threads on Facebook and Twitter too easily lost in the staccato tempo of that discussion. I will try to preserve some of those exchanges in a blog format with greater reach and expanded discussion and engagement.

Bon appetit!

Getting the FAT Lady Back in Shape with a #TwitFit Campaign

My goodness! This poor neglected blog is a reflection of the of my personal fitness - neglected, ignored, shunned, and shortchanged! It is time to update and implement new strategies both for the bod and the blog.

Joeann Fossland, Queen of Bliss, posted a note on Twitter today looking for a Wii Fit partner to share weight loss accountability. I found myself drawn to the notion of an accountability partner but I do not have a fancy Wii machine.

My favorite technology tool these days is a TweetDeck desktop client (shown at right) for my daily Twitter fix. There must be a way to use Twitter to lose weight and get in shape! I responded to Her Royal Blissfulness with another thought about accountability design: How about a #TwitFit partner? I can dust off my Fat Lady blog and play here with links and reporting. Can u Wit Fit with TwitFit?

So here it is ... I am launching a weight-loss program via Twitter. I created a new hashtag, #TwitFit, for people who want to play with me. I'll find a scale somewhere and weigh in ... will post that news later. I commit to posting each day ... steps I take toward better health and fitness ... changes in eating and exercise ... and the fun and challenges. I will post here and on Twitter, of course! Let's get TwitFit!

What A Way to Launch A New Job Announcement;Who's the Plus-Size Hannah Montana in the Video?

Courage in Women Is Often Mistaken for Insanity

Miriam Bell is a fellow Tucson REALTOR who shares political inspiration with her friends (author unknown). She shared this with us today:

"This is the story of our Grandmothers and Great-grandmothers; they lived only 90 years ago.

"Remember, it was not until 1920 that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote.

"The women were innocent and defenseless, but they were jailed nonetheless for picketing the White House, carrying signs asking for the vote.

"And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of 'obstructing sidewalk traffic'.

"Lucy Burns - They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air.

"Dora Lewis - They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cell mate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack.
Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.

"Thus unfolded the "Night of Terror" on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote.

"For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food - all of it colorless slop - was infested with worms.

"Alice Paul - When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.

"So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this year because - why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn't matter? It's raining?

"Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO's new movie Iron Jawed Angels. It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder.

"All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient.

"My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women's history, saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry. She was - with herself. 'One thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,' she said. 'What would those women think of the way I use, or don't use, my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.' The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her 'all over again.'

"HBO released the movie on video and DVD . I wish all history, social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhere else women gather. I realize this isn't our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock therapy is in order.

"It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized ... And it is inspiring to watch the doctor
refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy.

"The doctor admonished the men: 'Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity'."

Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know.

We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote Democratic, Republican or Independent party - remember to vote.

History is being made.

Rigid Exercise Regimen Starts With 2-Minute Smile

A 30-day plan to harness the Law of Attraction begins with a two-minute smile designed to increase serotonin levels in the brain. Coach Joeann Fossland is getting ready to launch another Relax and Attract teleconference series based upon the works of Esther and Abraham Hicks of The Secret fame. I have attended the teleconference series three times ... it becomes more powerful each time!

Leading medical experts concur with the premise that smiling is good for one's health"

“When you are stressed and have anxiety, there’s an activation of various stress areas in the brain.  This alters the concentration of various hormones in blood.  These stress hormones have a variety of impacts on health – you feel stressed, they impair your ability to think over time, they increase cholesterol in the heart, and they change how the immune system functions,” says Dr. Bruce Rabin, director of the Healthy Lifestyle Program at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.

Joeann's Law of Attraction energy is also a special focus of No Blogger Left Behind, a blog coaching Webinar series that we co-present. It leaves me smiling . 8-))))

Developing New Eating Habits Is Adventuresome;Following Advice of My De Facto Health and Wellness Coach

My sister Linda may be the most outstanding nurse on Planet Earth. (She is shown at right on her son's arm at his recent wedding. His dad, Linda's husband, walks alongside.) I've decided to start listening to her. It's silly to disregard the advice of a fantastic coach!!!

She suggeest some changes to my diet. These changes include:

• Morning shake with skim milk, three tablespoons of flax seed, and a cup of blueberries
• 10 almonds or walnuts (more than that in one day is a diet buster)
• Substitute egg whites for whole eggs.
• Brisk, low imact exercise each day
• A baby aspirin each day

I think it is funny that this all makes such good common sense and yet it is so profound on so many levels after such a long period of neglect. Better late than never.

I see the doc tomorrow and we are going to review a plan for betterness ... I feel great ... better will be awesome!!!

The FAT Lady Still Ranks #1 on Google!

Three and a half years after The FAT Lady Blog posted a humorous story about an airport mishap and delay she is still triumphant with a first-place ranking in Google. A frequent search finds this blog top ranked, followed by 2,199,999 posts collected after a web visitor types the ever popular keywords "blogger boobs."  My older son tells me that "this information is useful trivia you do not need to share with my friends," so I ask my readers to keep this little nugget of information just between us!

Web analytics point to similar results with "plus size boobs" and also some traction in languages that I cannot identify!

Still, it makes me proud! LOL

Makeover Task: Category Cleanse MLM Links!

Despite the fact that I still get web site visitors coming through keywords like "Goji" and "Freelife" I am going to go through my archves and remove category links to those crummy multi-level marketing links. I think that Freelife makes good vitamins, but my present-day thinking has changed about a business built upon juice that is marked up a gazillion percent.

So, I will eschew the nutaceuticals and the "cleanse" products that are hawked without scientific study. I am going to stick with research-based information and clinical studies over at DrWeil.com. I expect to complete a blog category "cleanse" this week!